Not all who wander are lost...

My Faithful Friend

2007-02-12T09:52:00.000-05:00

For my faithful friend (Stacy) that still reads this... I have a new website you can check out if you want. There is a picture of you :-) I love you!

www.myspace.com/lindseypritchard

My head is swarming...

2007-01-19T14:19:00.000-05:00

Jason and I are taking our next Tae Kwon Do test next week. I don't think I'm ready. I really stink at sparring. I lose my temper, I cry, I whine. I'm such a wimp. Part of me doesn't even want to take the test because I'm afraid to fail. What is wrong with me? I used to be tougher than this. I think my surgery affected me more than I thought it did. I don't like that....

Another day, Another dollar.

2007-01-12T08:14:00.000-05:00

Sheesh. Do you ever feel like you have the dumbest job in the world? I do. I go to work every day. I type all day long... and play a little. I eat lunch with Jason (by far the highlight of my day). Then I go home. Sometimes I go to Tae Kwon Do. Sometimes I study. Sometimes, though rare, I even watch some TV. We are at a place in our lives where we just.... are. We do nothing spectacular. We just exist. I don't like it. We're in the process of change... hopefully. Jason is applying for new youth ministry positions in Baptist churches. This is his passion, it is becoming mine. We miss having youth to goof off with and teach and love. In the meantime, we will go to work every day and make a little more money, then leave work and spend it paying off bills, or buying food. We'll survive.

Green Belt

2006-11-15T15:05:00.000-05:00

Well, Jason and I passed our Green Belt test last week. Awards Ceremony is tomorrow. We start sparring next week, so watch out world. I'm on my way to being a weapon!

Friendship?

2006-11-09T16:08:00.000-05:00

What a complex thought...

What does it really mean, I wonder?

Halloween Kids :-)

2006-10-30T12:59:00.000-05:00

The girls I work with are talking about going Trick-or-Treating with their kids. I wish I had kids to take. Most of the time I'm okay with not having kids, but it's times like this that I get a little sad. Alas.... I try to remind myself that I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to feed them or find out why they are screaming. I don't have to worry that they will run off in Walmart. I don't have to be careful about watching "monsters" or other scary stuff on TV with them in the room. Anyhow... thought I'd share.

Dentist :-(

2006-10-27T14:49:00.000-04:00

Sheesh... Okay, I've STILL never had a good dentist experience. I had a tooth pulled Wednesday..... ouch. My hystorectomy didn't hurt this bad. Man, oh, man. Jason spent the entire evening calling everyone he could think of to figure out how to make the pain stop. It was a long, long, long night. It's much better now... as long as I'm taking my Vicodin. The problem is that I sit at work and nearly fall asleep in my chair.

Okay, Shannon says that I need to point out that she is a nice dentist...which she is. It just hurt a lot becuase my tooth was FREAK'N huge and had 5 roots instead of 3... like normal people. Why am I always abnormal???

Anyhow, I'm turning into a true redneck. I'm becoming toothless. Alas, thus is my calling in life.

Maybe this isn't the job for me....

2006-10-11T17:11:00.000-04:00

I screwed up today... pretty badly. Actually, I screwed up a couple of months ago and today I found out about it. How bad? Well, it all depends on your perspective. My boss could get sued for a fairly substantial amount of money becuase of my mistake. I suck....

Oh well, life shall go on. Should I look for a new job? Perhaps, I dont' know. How long will people talk about me behind my back? Hmm, in this office, it will probably be for awhile. That's what happens when you put a bunch of estrogen in a small room for 8 hours a day.

Life shall go on....

6 months :-)

2006-02-08T12:07:00.000-05:00

It seems like I only blog when I'm sick... why is that? Perhaps it's because that's the only time I allow myself to slow down enough to record some thoughts. I don't know...

Jason and I have hit the big 6 month anniversary this week. Since I was sick yesterday, I got to stay at home and plan an incredibly fun evening while Jason was working. We had cheese fondue, beef fondue, and then chocolate fondue. We managed to make dinner take 3 hours. Yum, yum, yum. Candles everywhere, surrounded by rose petals. Yeah, it was fun. And, by the way, we stayed within our Weight Watchers points for the day :-) Now THAT took some hard planning and work.

Ah... I'm so lucky. I'm married to the best man on the planet...

Girls, you can look, but don't touch :-)

What Disney Character is Your Alter Ego???

2005-11-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

Before you see who I am, I want to tell you that one of the questions is, "Do you like to run around with no pants on?" If you know me... you know the answer to that. If not... you don't need to know the answer...

You scored as Donald Duck. Your alter ego is Donald Duck! Try as you might, you have a nasty temper that is hard to control. But you try hard to please, and you arn't one to go down without a fight.

Donald Duck

69%

Sleeping Beauty

63%

Peter Pan

63%

The Beast

50%

Goofy

44%

Cinderella

44%

Snow White

44%

Pinocchio

38%

Ariel

38%

Cruella De Ville

19%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Sick bites....

2005-11-10T09:55:00.000-05:00

Seriously... sickness is no fun. I realize that it is a result of our fallen world, so I try not to complain to God too much, but still... it bites. I went to CVS this morning to get some drugs to make me feel better. I saw one that looked perfect for me... it melts in your mouth and is cherry flavored and everything, so I bought it. When I got to work (late becuase there was no one at the cash register at CVS) I ripped the box open to dig in. Come to find out... it's for children. I looked at the front of the box again. It didn't say anything about children at all. On the back where it tells you how much to take, it says 1 for children under 6 and 2 for children ages 6-12. Woops! So, how many should I take??? I suppose I'll just guess...

Wow...

2005-11-01T20:57:00.000-05:00

It sure has been awhile. My sincerest apologies to anyone who cares enough to occasionally check my blog to see if I've gotten up the energy to write. The day after my honeymoon, I started school and went back to work... not my idea of a good time. Things have changed a lot in the last few months. One of these changes is that I am not taking classes this semester as of last week. That actually makes me feel good... very good. It's nice to be able to breath occasionally. I can actually go home and... yes, it's true ladies and gentlemen... cook dinner. Ahhh, and a hush fell over the crowd. Anyway, I'll try to be more consistant in writing on my blog... rather than being consistent in not writing on my blog...

Chao,
Lindsey Pritchard (I love that part!!!)

2005-04-29T08:04:00.000-04:00

You Know You're From Louisville When...

Your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48
contiguous U.S. states

The in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship.

You live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes... but has no capacity to deal with any of the above.

You pronounce the name of your city different than anyone else you've heard.

You think the rest of the people in Kentucky sound like hicks.

When you think "Kentucky" you don't automatically think horse racing or fried chicken.

You ask your doctor for an allergy cure and he tells you to "move."

You've shovelled 10+ inches of snow and worn shorts in the same week.

When people ask what school you went to, they don't mean Vanderbilt, Yale, or Harvard; they mean Ballard, Male, Manual, Trinity or St. X.

You know what the Bambi Walk is.

Your last ten vacations were in Panama City or Destin.

You make an emergency run to Kroger for bread and milk at the first sighting of a snowflake.

You've lived here for years, yet somehow you get hopelessly lost each time you attempt a shortcut through Cherokee Park.

You're convinced turn signals are useless options on a vehicle.

You hold up traffic to let a motorist you don't know into your lane.

You give directions based on landmarks that no longer exist or street names that have changed, but your directions never confuse any of the other Louisvillians

You have never been to the Derby, but wouldn't miss the Oaks.

You call in sick to attend the Oaks and spot your boss - who also called in sick - at the next
betting window.

You think all the REAL hicks live in New Albany.

You think the only thing Southern Indiana is good for is buying pumpkins.

When introduced to another life-long Louisvillian, you spend the first part of the conversation finding out how you are connected. It's never as many as six degrees of separation - usually three will do it.

You think a pervert is someone who would rather have sex than watch basketball.

You've built a shrine to Rick Pitino in your basement.

You can read about Rick Pitino in at least three different sections of your newspaper.

You think the rest of the world knows what Benedictine spread is.

You think the rest of the world knows what a Hot Brown is.

You have never eaten fish that wasn't fried.

You think the whole world puts spaghetti in chili.

You want another bridge built over the Ohio River, just so long as it doesn't cut through YOUR neighborhood.

You've experienced a "salt storm" after a two-inch snowfall.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisville.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

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I'm not lost...

2005-04-19T20:33:00.000-04:00

.... just preoccupied. I'm so sorry. Please forgive my unfaithfulness in writing... as if you are terribly distraught over the issue. So many things have changed since my last post... first and foremost:

I'm getting married!!! Yea!!!

Ahh, that felt good. I also have a new job...well, I haven't started yet, but I will in a couple of weeks. I'm very excited. The drive is not so far, and the benefits are much better. That will come in handy, eh? I'll be working at National City Bank. Please feel free to stop in and say howdy sometime. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my family in the last few weeks. It's an unusal blessing. I'm learning to appreciate them all over again. God is so good to me, isn't He.... ahh, yes, so very good.

An interesting day...

2005-03-17T10:08:00.000-05:00

God is so funny sometimes. But in his humor, he gives blessings. The whole time I have been recovering from my surgery everyone that I hang out with has been sick. I kept praying that God would keep me well, at least until my stomach could handle the stress of sneezing and stuff. He did keep me from it.... until Tuesday. I woke up feeling like poo and it just got worse. Up to this point, the longest that I had gone to work since my surgery (2 months, I might add) was for 3 hours. Tuesday, I was scheduled for 10. Ouch. I went to my first job, and they sent me home after 4 hours. I went to my second job, and they sent me home after 4 hours. Apparently I looked as bad as I felt. Then yesterday was not much better. Sick, sick, sick. I hate being sick. I am a misrable sick person. I whine and complain and cry like a little kid, so I usually try to avoid people for fear that they will soon hate the sight of me. Oh, but God is good. I found someone that refuses to get sick of me. It's nice.

I've never wanted to go to Asia. At least not East Asia. Central Asia, sure, but not East. Yesterday at Youth I was talking to a wonderful Japanese girl. She told me about home, taught me a little Japenese, and we began to build a friendship. Then, for the first time in my life, I wanted to go to Japan.... funny how God works isn't it? I like him.

A million things to love about Rachel Powell

2005-03-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

Ah, my dear roomie. I do love her. Don't you all? Of course you do...

She's a Jesus freak!
Rach has lived with me longer than anyone else... and still likes me
She's way cute
I'm perfectly content to just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling with her
She wasn't bitter that the doctor made me sit on my butt while she did the housework
Her brother is cute.... oh wait, she doesn't have a brother :-)
She doesn't make fun of me when I talk to my teddy bears
She buys me stuff that I don't know I want
Did I mention that she is crazy enough to live with me for a freak'n long time???
It's fun to play the guitar and sing with Rachel
She massages my feet when I can hardly stand up
She worries about me way more than I ever will
She likes most of my favorite movies
Rach has this amazing little book that tells you 14,000 things to be happy about
She sings in the shower.... oops, did I say that?
She loves her kids at school... and her neices and nephews.... and pretty much anyone under 3 feet tall
She signs with me so people get nice and confused
She can have an entire conversation using only movie quotes
She tickles me... not that I like that of course
She has lots of fun candles
Everything reminds her of a song
She's tall enough to reach things that I can't
She loves me no matter what

Back to work???

2005-03-06T20:47:00.000-05:00

Well, it is coming time to go back to work. Yes, I can feel it coming, but I'm trying to ignore it as much as possible. The truth is that I worked 6 hours this week and that small amout of time wore me out. I think I have 5 hours scheduled for this week. Eventually I'm going to have to go back to the church to work, but it stresses me out so much sometimes that I honestly don't think it would be good for me. Alas, I'll have to face the music someday soon. So, according to my calendar, I've been off work for ..... 6 weeks now, so technically, I'm good for another 2 if I need them. I've been told time and again not to rush back too soon.... I don't think that will be a problem.

How do you say thank you?

2005-02-28T11:25:00.000-05:00

How do you thank God when he has blessed you beyond your wildest dreams. I mean, seriously.... "Thank You." just doesn't cut it. I spend years asking, begging, pleading to have my way and so many times, I get a gentle, "No, not today" in return. "God, can I please have this? Go there? Know them? Do this?" "No, not today." I try to be patient, after all - I know he knows what he is doing... but it's so hard. I'm so impatient. So I pout and whine like a child. Perhaps that's the problem....

Then one day I tell him that I am content. I will stop trying to change his mind. He knows what I want, but he also knows what I need. Most importantly - He knows what will bring him the most glory. Almost instantly he says "Yes, it's time." Suddenly the reasons I had to wait for so many things are crystal clear. He really did know what he was doing. The blessings start to pour out and I find myself "standing at the floodgate, steady as an earthquake." Not only am I blessed, but I am blessed far beyond what I could have ever asked for. When you are a prideful, selfish, sinful, completely out-of-control human being, how do you thank an all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful God for taking the time to make your dreams come true? Wow...

Putting God in a box

2005-02-24T13:55:00.000-05:00

I think I'm guilty. This is something that I've been thinking about a lot for several weeks. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it, but I thought I'd share anyway. It began when I found out I had cancer. A lot of my family and friends immediately began fretting over the obvious: what was going to happen to me, how serious is it, would it kill me, will I ever have kids.... perfectly ligitiment questions. One of my first thoughts was, "Great. The IMB will never let me be a career missionary now." Funny how our minds work, eh? Mission work is all I've ever wanted to do, so this hit me pretty hard. After the surgery, the doc told me the cancer was all gone, never to return, so my hopes went back up again.

Around this time, two of my friends started dating one another. She has a passion for Hispanic people. She loves the culture, the language, the people. She has done mission work with them in the past, and wants to in the future. He doesn't have this same passion. Granted, he has nothing against the idea, it's just not his heart's desire. The discussions that they had with one another while deciding on whether to pursue a relationship or not have, in the last couple of weeks, been very important to me.

I was talking with her in the car, not long ago, about how she came to the decision that it was ok to date this man that did not share the same passion that she did. She told me about some of the things they discussed and somehow, out of nowhere, it clicked in my head. I was putting God in a box. Not just any box, a Lindsey-made box specially designed with my goals and intentions in mind. Yes, God has given me the ability to learn Swahili, but that may just be his way of showing me that he can teach me any language that he wants me to learn. Yes, he's given me a heart to reach Muslims, but perhaps that's his way of showing me that if he can give me a passion for such a tough group of people, he can give me a heart for any people group. Yes, he's given me the opportunity to serve in Africa, but perhaps that was his was of teaching me that he can help me make it anywhere in the world.

I've come to realize that I need to let go of my plans and let God direct me as he wants. Chicago, Mongolia, Egypt, Louisville, Japan, Zimbabwe, Bosnia, Cambodia, single, married, women, youth, ESL, water projects, disaster relief, whatever. I am his to do with as he wishes.

Not my will, but thine, Oh Lord my God.

Out of pain killers

2005-02-21T08:07:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's a sad place to be: having no painkillers. I'm going to the doc today which means he's probably going to poke and prod a little and I would really like to get drugged up first. I don't like pain. Alas, I guess I will have to face the pain head on. I'm glad God gave me friends with hands to squeeze the fire out of while I'm there. Thank you to all those martyrs. You are the truest of friends (Ashlee, I hope you can feel your fingers by now).

I miss church.

2005-02-16T16:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah. I miss going to church more than just about anything else since I've been cooped up at home. I'm going to try to sweet talk someone into taking me tonight. One attempt has already failed b/c the friend I asked is staying late. Oh well. I miss staying late at church for choir practice and hanging out with the youth. I can hardly wait til I find the right church for me to jump back into all that fun stuff again. Anyway, back to the problem at hand: getting to church tonight. I'm sure I can find another friend I can go with, though. Let's see... who else can I call.... Ah, I know. Jessica. The ever faithful friend.

One moment please.... I need to make a call.....

Oh yeah! She always comes through for me. Thanks a million, Jess. You take care of me more than I could ever ask. Yea!!! Tonight I get to go to church! I'm excited... can you tell???

Been there, done that, got a t-shirt

2005-02-14T07:38:00.000-05:00

It's funny how God foreshadows things in your life...

Have you ever seen those commercials for one of the hopsitals in Louisville. You know, the one with people holding a sign that says "cancer free for ___ days, ___ hours, and ___ minutes." Ever since I saw that commercial for the first time, I've wondered if I might get one of those signs one day. I'm sure most of you have heard the song by Tim McGraw Live Like You Were Dying? It kinda made me wonder the same thing. What if I got some disease like cancer. How would I live? Not that I'm a morbid person. At least I don't think I am.

It's interesting though, that God began preparing me in little ways long ago for what I'd be going through. He takes amazing care of me. I don't show my appreciation for it nearly enough. Seriously though, I have no idea how often He saves my butt or blesses me beyond belief and I don't even realize it. I have got to be the most blessed person on the planet and I'm so blind to it. How did I get so loved?

Funny point: You know those T-shirts that say "Body piercing saved my life" with a cross or something like that on the back? Whenever I'm messing with my incision, one of my roomies tells me that I should make a shirt that says "Body peircing saved my life... twice." Hee hee. That makes me laugh.

By the way, I've been cancer free for 19 days, 18 hours, and I have no idea how many minutes :-)

Things I've learned this week

2005-02-12T11:41:00.000-05:00

All this alone time leads one to some reflection.... like it or not. Here are some random things that I've learned about myself and my little world:

I'm not nearly as motivated to study as I thought I'd be.
Pink isn't as bad as I've always thought.
Good men make me feel safe... and I like it.
I can cry pretty easily.
Codine really does make me.... hostile.
It's easy to go over your cell phone minutes when you're home alone all day.
I like daisies.
Mad Libs do get old after awhile.
I can pass out pretty easily.
My stomach is much weaker than I thought it was.
I like McDonald's a lot more than I ever thought I did.
Krispy Kreme is comfort food.
I miss music when I don't have it in my life.
My Papaw really is the cutest man on Earth.
QB's a lot nicer than we give him credit for.
Melissa has a stronger stomach than most of my friends.
I don't seem to have the perfect pillow.
I miss Mike and Jason a lot when they aren't around.
I like girls more than I thought I did.
I can be incredibly selfish sometimes.
I miss going to the gym when I'm stuck at home.
I'm not nearly as tough as I pretend like I am.
My parents can, in fact, get along when their little girl is in agonizing pain.
TUMS don't always make you feel better.
There is nothing in the world like a good book.
Rachel is tougher than I give her credit for.
Life is more fun when the cute boy calls you, rather than you calling him :-)
A shower does wonders for making you feel better.
Bottled water tastes funny.

Well, there ya go. These are but a few of the many things I've thought of today. Enjoy!

The sound of silence

2005-02-10T18:04:00.000-05:00

I love the sound of silence. I imagine that surprises you. Sometimes it surprises me. There is very little that irritates me more than people who talk just because they don't like the silence. It's easy to fall into that, but I don't like it nonetheless. I enjoy spending time with just one other person. It doesn't always matter who that person is. I love it when you are comfortable enough with a person, that you don't have to talk all the time. You can just sit together... and be.

Silence... ahh, it's a beautiful sound.

Home nurses

2005-02-10T15:53:00.000-05:00

It's so weird to have a nurse that comes to your home. I don't know why it's weired, but it is. My darling Melissa came over last night and again this morning to help me change my packing/bandages and stuff. She is an amazing friend! I can hardly stand to do it to myself, you can imagine how hard it is to find someone to weird enough to help. Thanks for your help Melissa, you are incredible!!!

So, I switched back to my original drugs today. I don't feel much, but then again, what can you feel when you sleep all day. Man, oh man, the stuff knocks me out so fast. Prehaps I should call the cod anc see if I can get some more of the other stuff. It doesn't kill the pain as fast, but at least I can stay awake.... then again, what's the point in staying awake. All I do is watch TV or read a book when I'm awake. The TV I don't like, and the book is nearly finished and I want to make it last as long as possible... though I could get another I guess.

Wow, my blogs are getting boring. I'm going to find something better to talk about tomorrow. Perhaps I'll make up a story. I like doing that. :-) Until next time...

My secret admirer

2005-02-08T20:15:00.000-05:00

I got the most beautiful flowers today and the card said they were from "a cute guy that admires and loves you very much." I racked my brain all day trying to figure out who it was and truth be told, the best I could come up with was Mike... dispite his objections. It just seems like something that he would do, being the sweetest man I've ever met.

I found out who it is though... and it's not Mike. It really is the cutest man that I know. And he does love me very, very much. Wonders never cease.

A million things to love about Jessica Alster

2005-02-08T20:10:00.000-05:00

Girl.... you rock my world!

She has the coolest hair on the planet
She loves Jesus!
She shares everything she has
She loves to be surrounded by her friends
She stayed up late with me at the hopsital.... several nights
She can sing incredibly
She loves from the deepest part of her soul
She has a big truck :-)
She doesn't beat up people that she really wants to beat up :-)
She lets us party at her house
She's up late, so I can call her in the middle of the night
I can call her any time that I need something and she's on it!
She likes country music... a lot
She's funny.... really funny
She cut my hair, and it's cute.
She doesn't give up when she wants something
She can keep secrets
She took away my braclet while I was in the hospital so the nurses wouldn't think I was DNR.
It's cute when Jess tries to figure out who I like :-)
She is one of the most true and loyal people I've ever met

A "Happy little tree"

2005-02-07T11:12:00.000-05:00

For those of you that have not yet delved into the weirdness that is Lindsey Lee, there's something you should know. I love watching Bob Ross paint. You know the guy. He always adds "happy little trees and clouds" to his paintings. I don't know what it is about him, but his voice and his painting is completely captivating to me. When we were very young, my baby brother and I used to watch Bob Ross all the time. We'd swear he was drugged up while he was painting, but we didn't care. We simply could not change the channel. Even now, years later, when one of us randomly runs into his show on KET, we immediately call the other and sit on the phone watching it together. Ah, what a happy little life.

Last night was amazing for me. I've been cooped up in my apartment for over a week now, and oh how sweet the freedom. No one appreciates freedom like a caged bird. Anyway, back to my story. Last night, my dear Biggz came to pick me up at my apartment and took me to Jess's house. I love Jess. We went to "watch the Superbowl" though we all knew better (though I think Jerrf actually watched a little bit while he worked on a paper). I got to meet and hang out with Mark, who is very cool by the way. Then I sat in the kitchen watching QB and Mike cook and I laughed and played as if my life were normal... man I miss that. Even now, I feel tears in my eyes at the thought of hanging with friends like normal.

These folks, like no others, make me feel an enormous amount of love. I got kisses from 5 cute guys (on the cheek... not that cheek, thank you). Not just 5 cute guys, but 5 cute guys that I love very much. I got to hang with Jess and Sarah and make fun of those cute guys with them. This is one of our favorite hobbies. It's how we show affection :-) Finally the food was ready so I curled up on the couch with my laughing pillow, whom QB and Biggz like to fight over his name (yes, I know that's terrible grammar, unfortunately it's the best I can do).

We popped in a scary movie, so I begged Jason to sit by me. He is by far my favorite person to watch scary movies with. Jason protects me from all the scary people on TV, and besides, he's fun to cuddle up with. One of you girls needs to snatch him up, he's quite a catch. Finally Candice (who Biggz and I decided is WAY out of Biggz's league) and Ashley May showed up so our family was complete. Nothing makes me happier. I didn't get to spend enough time with Sarah, I think, so I'll have to call her and get my fix today. She makes me smile a lot.

Ya ever feel blessed beyond all measure? I sure do.

Movie Quote of the Day

2005-02-06T14:35:00.000-05:00

"I've got news for you little lady. I'm sexy. I'm a sexy man of God, and I know it."

- Pastor Dan, Raising Helen

Oh yeah, that's a new favorite of mine.

The Social Butterfly Award

2005-02-05T10:27:00.000-05:00

When I was a freshman in college, I was a bit out of control. My first class was at 11:00am, so I felt free to stay up late and go out with my friends... what was I thinking? Anyhow, at the end of the year, our dorm had these "awards" that everyone in the dorm (about 250 girls) had voted on. I won two awards that year, the Social Butterfly Award and the Night Owl Award. Oh, I was so proud of myself. My mother made fun of me relentlessly. Hee hee... that makes me laugh.

Well, the Night Owl thing has slowly gone away, but the Social Butterfly lives on. This last week or two, I have been surrounded by loving friends. In fact, there was very little time that I was alone.... which was totally okay with me. Last night, when the last of my company left, I felt incredibly alone. It worries me a little when I'm alone these days. What if I fall and bust my incision? What if someone calls or comes to the door and I can't answer 'cuz I can't find the energy to get up? I need someone here when I take a shower or bath... just in case.

Cindy had gone to a conference and Rachel was working late. Mike, Jess, and Sarah have a life and I get tired of requiring all their attention, so I decided to leave them alone. Q hurt his ankle and couldn't come over if he wanted to. Jason is doing a conference this weekend (don't forget to pray for him by the way) so I couldn't call him. All I had was my teddy bears to talk to.... and despite popular belief, they don't talk back. I sure tried though. I finally gave up, and tucked Dinky under my head (he's the perfect pillow size for me) and gave Aiden a kiss goodnight and went to sleep.

God has certainly made me a social creature. I have to give Mike props on his obsession with community these days. I most certainly need people, in fact, I need them desperately. He always provides me exactly what I need. I have never been alone when I truly needed someone. It has never mattered how I feel, what country I'm in, who's mad at me, how long it's been since I've seen someone.... I'm never alone. That's nice. It's not good for man to be alone, ya know ;-)

My walls have never looked so white

2005-02-03T13:43:00.000-05:00

Wow.... my life has certainly become boring this week. What was the big tip-off? I went to bed at 12:30 last night and woke up at 12:30 this afternoon... I spent 1/2 of the last 24 hours asleep (probably more than that if we count naps). That is so sad. Grant it, my drugs don't exactly help me stay awake, but still... 12 hours!!! Thats out of control, even for me. I have even gotten to the point that I want to clean. Can you believe it!?!? But the crazy part is, I'm not allowed to clean. That, my friends... is irony.

I had high aspirations about what I was going to do when I got home from the hospital. I was going to study several hours a day so that I can stay in school this semester. I was going to read lots of good books that I've wanted to read for awhile. I was going to work on my guitar skills. I was going to talk Mike, Jason, Quinton, and Steve into taking turns coming to my house and helping me down the stairs and taking me for a walk....

Wrong.

I have studied a grand total of 2 hours. When I try to read anything I fall asleep in 5 minutes. I can't even hold my guitar, much less play it. And as for the men... come to find out, they actually have a life outside of me.... who'd of thunk it???

Oh well, life shall go on. My sweet Mike (no, he's not really mine, thanks for asking) bought me an excellent book, and I'm actually staying awake to read it most of the time. I'm determined to make it til evening without turning on the TV today. I'm going to write some cards: some as thank yous to all you awesome people, some to encourage people that need it, and some to people just because I like them. Between reading my book and writing my cards, I think I can fill up a few hours. It will be nice to use my mind rather than watch PBS Kids today :-)

What will today hold? Only my Father knows. He'll let me know when it's time.

When your heart skips a beat

2005-02-01T22:41:00.000-05:00

Every once in awhile, you find someone that makes your heart skip a beat. It may not be someone that you plan on spending the rest of your life with (or perhaps you dare not dream it could happen), but they make you smile.... a lot. They come over to visit even when they only have 15 minutes to stay and it takes them 20 minutes to get to your apartment... and 20 minutes to get home. He calls to say hi when he only has 30 seconds to talk. He sings. He prays. He talks. He listens. He loves Jesus so very much. He is a leader. He is a follower. He is generous with his time and love.

And when I think of his smile, it makes me grin.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me so many reasons to smile.

The most amazing friends on Earth

2005-01-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

There are few things that I like less than being tied to tubes and machines. There is no prison like immobility. A few days after my surgery, they took out most of my tubes :-) Good times for me. Today, I am at home, sitting in my living room, wondering, "What now?" I can't keep my eyes open for every long, though I'm not always sleeping when they are closed... they just won't stay open.

Getting out of bed in the morning hurts more than anything else. I guess that I'm just sore after lying still for so long. Once I get going, I'm okay, though. But wow that first hour is a killer.

I want to thank you, my dear friends, for the amazing amount of love you have showered on me in the last 2 weeks. For the beautiful women in my life....Most girls in my life have been smothering, but you have not. You have helped me to make fun of our boys...err, men as we never have before. Thanks for cutting my hair before I got stuck in a hospital for so long. Thank you for bringing me hugs and kisses while I was there. Thank you for helping me wash my hair when I can barely move and doing all kinds of things for me that I could not (and still can not) do for myself.

And you incredible men.... I can never tell you how much you have meant to me this week. Never have I felt so safe as when I fell asleep in a hospital bed holding your hand and woke up 20 minutes later with you still there. And when you were leaned up against a wall and I stood up and walked to you, you hugged me tight and didn't let go but rested your cheek on my forehead and just held me, never have I felt so much love and protection. When you brought your guitar and played and sang praises to our Father while I faded in and out, it brought joy to my heart. When you held me up as I tried walking down the hall of the hospital those first few times, I was not afraid of falling, because I knew you would catch me. I had no idea that you guys were so priceless to me. I hope I have you til the day I die.

Wow... I love each of you so much. Don't feel like your job is over though. I'm in the same condition as I was yesterday, I'm just living it at home where there are no bars to hold onto and no nurses to wake me at 3:00 in the morning. I still need you, and I can't tell you what a blessing it is to know that I still have you.

A million things to love about Jason Pritchard

2005-01-25T15:00:00.000-05:00

It's strange that I'm doing this for someone that I'm quite sure will never read this page, but I know that many of you know Jason. I'd like to give you even more reasons to love him.... as if you need more reasons.

He is a big Jesus fan!
He plays the piano... well.
He plays the piano for me when I ask really nice.
He's cute.
He has no idea that he's cute.
He hugs me when I'm cold.
He holds my hand when I'm afraid.
He loves his kids at church.
He doesn't feel the need to fill the silence.
He's a crazy UPS guy!
He loves to worship.
He plays the guitar.
He stays up late, so it's okay to call him in the middle of the night.
He opens doors for girls.... sometimes ;-)
When we are on the phone, if I'm really lucky, he'll play his keyboard and let me just sit and listen on the phone.
He is silent, but strong.
He tells crazy Quinton-esque jokes.
He has a cool jacket.
He gives up sleep fairly often, to spend time with his friends.
He went to UK.
When he gets embarrassed, he laughs funny and his face turns red... it's cute.
He wants to sneak his keyboard into my hospital room :-)
He is humble.
Once again.... he's cute :-)

You are loved, Mr. Pritchard.... very much.

What do you do when you can't sleep?

2005-01-24T01:10:00.000-05:00

Quite possibly the most rare thing in my life is the one or two days a year that I just can't go to sleep. For whatever reason, this is one of those nights. I have a million thoughts running through my head and they won't sit still for even a minute.

I don't really want to watch TV because... well, that's dumb. My first instinct is to call Jason. He works the night shift, but he's off on Sunday nights, so he's usually awake. He's not answering his phone though. Sad times for me. Mike is sick and needs his sleep just this once, so I decided not to call him. I should clean, but I just don't have the energy. I've only been allowed to eat jell-o and chicken broth today, so I'm not feeling my best... probably best that I don't have anyone to talk to. Hmm... maybe I'll get off here and try to sleep again. Goodnight!

A million things to love about Steve Christy

2005-01-22T01:00:00.000-05:00

In honor of his birthday....

Ok Steve, it's your turn. And don't you dare argue with me... yes, there are a million things to love about you...

He loves Jesus... a lot!
Little kids love Steve.
He loves old movies.
He does nothing half way.
He never makes fun of other people.
He likes to make fun of himself so that other people can join in.
He has random movie nights at his apartment.
He's cute.
He changes his facial hair every couple of weeks to entertain the kids at church.
He is crazy about his mom!
He calls me right when I want to talk to him.
Uncle Steve loves his nieces and nephews as if they were his own.
He has all three LOTR Extended Edition DVDs.... and shares them.
He gave me the coolest movie ever.
He listens with his eyes... not just his ears.
He has a motorcycle.
He's protective of other people.
He is a faithful friend.
He is weird... I mean, really weird.
He opened doors for my mom.
He is a true servant, but allows others to serve him as well.
He's stink'n hilarious.
He's fun to ride in the car with on a snowy day.
He does not lower his standards.
He will play racquetball with me, even though I stink at it.
He has a banjo in his closet (and a trombone, a bugle, and a beautiful saxophone).

Be careful with your comments ladies and gentlemen. Steve doesn't comment on my blog... but he does read it. :-) You rock, Steve!

Wondering minds want to know...

2005-01-21T20:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I went to the oncologist today. My surgery is scheduled for Wednesday morning at 7:30. I'll be in the hospital for a few days and then stuck at home staring at the wall for a few weeks after that. Feel free to visit.

As of today....

2005-01-20T15:51:00.000-05:00

As of today, I love Greek! Surprised? Not me. I thought that I'd like it. We'll see if it continues ;-)

As of today, I am already behind on my homework. Surprised? Well, I am. I usually get of to a decent start at least. I think that in the back of my mind, I keep thinking, "I'm not going to finish this semester, so why put so much into it now?" Dumb, eh?

As of today, I am VERY excited about Saturday night. I have a fun pajama party at Ashley May's to go to, complete with breakfast. I also get to dine with some good friends chowing on Chinese (food, not people) and then head to Steve's to make fun of the people that like Napoleon Dynamite. And the best part is.... I have the coolest T-shirt ever (my roomies just gave it to me) that I'm saving for just such an occasion. Oh, the laughs I'll get :-)

As of today, the sun is shining... ahhh, I love sunshine!

As of today, well... this moment to be exact, I think I'm going to make some goodies to take to Ashley's and Steve's tomorrow. Everyone loves goodies, right?

As of today, I am at peace with where I am: School, Work, My rather extinct love life, friends, family. Today is going to be a good day.

I think that my days tend to be much better when I have to go to school. Ironic, eh? It's like I have a purpose that I didn't have during break. It doesn't make sense to me, but that's ok.

Get up. Go to class. Go to another class. Rush to work. Remember that I didn't eat breakfast. Shrug and get over it. Leave one job and go to another. Remember that I didn't eat lunch. Run to Kroger for a quick salad in the 5 minutes before my students arrive. Meet a good friend for a good long talk before my night class. Smile. Hug. Cry. Go to class. Go home. Crawl into bed. Now that my friends, is a good day. And tomorrow will only be better :D

A million things to love about Lisa Pumpelly

2005-01-17T11:54:00.000-05:00

This has quickly become a fun game for me. I hope ya'll like it too!

Okay, Lisa darling. It's your turn. I am crazy about Lisa for a million reasons... just as any of you that truly know her. Why, you may ask....well, do let me tell you a few reasons....

She is crazy about Jesus.
She has a passion for Muslims like no one I've ever met.
She loves her friends.
She's cute.
She treats me like family.
She IS family.
She let's me drive her beautiful truck!
She cares about my heart.
She cares about my health.
She can say something to me and make me laugh, when from anyone else, I'd be insulted.
She tries to be obnoxious, but fails miserably.
If she has a question, she asks it.
She knows more about me than I do in many ways.
She holds my hand in public.
She lets me hug her any time I want to.
Lisa has no problem telling me when I'm being stupid... and she's usually right.
She can cook like nobody's business!
She keeps me company when I'm lonely.
She warns me a week or two before her dad comes to visit.
She always asks her mom to pray for me and keeps her updated on how I am.
She likes to play racquetball with me.
We can sit together in silence, and it's okay.
She is always thinking deep thoughts aloud.
We can speak Swahili together all day and drive everyone around us insane!
She laughs at me.... a lot!

The new me.

2005-01-16T08:25:00.001-05:00

Sorry I've not written in a few days. I'm trying to process a lot of stuff at one time. So, I have cancer... what does that mean? It means a lot of things I guess. It means that my medical bills are about to go through the roof. It means my parents are actually going to call once in awhile. It means my mother, father, and grandmother cry a lot. It means that I have 8 bottles of pills on my dresser. It means I will never have my own children... which if we are honest, prospects weren't looking that good to start with :-) It means I have a more personal reason to wear that little yellow bracelet that one of my kids at work gave me. It means that I will have surgery soon and be in the hospital for awhile. It means that I may have to sit out of school this semester. It means that I am learning that I have a lot more friends than I ever imagined.

I have received the most random emails from my friends parents, old college professors, as well as good friends that I talk to every day. Some people shower me with love constantly, but some people, the ones that I desperately need to see their love, refuse to show it at all. I know that they love me, but they don't express it. I don't understand why, and I'm not used to it. Perhaps they are afraid for one reason or another. Perhaps they are doing their job of guarding my heart. Perhaps I misjudge their love for me. People are funny, eh? I guess something that I am certain that my parents excelled in when I was a child, was teaching me to love with all my heart. There was never lack of affection in my life. I get it now from many of my friends, but it's hard for me to understand when people that I know love me, don't show it.

Anyway, back to my life.....

This a new part of who I am. My life has changed, and will continue to change.... deal with it! I will crack jokes about it... just like I crack jokes about my height and my lack of English skills. I'm not trying to freak anyone out, so don't get all weird on me. I am.... and I will be, okay.

Standing at the floodgate, steady as an earthquake.

2005-01-13T01:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?

Good news? Ok.

Jesus loves me.
I'm discovering that a lot of people that I thought "like" me, really love me too
My car works
I got to see my mom today
I got lots of hugs from fun people today
I didn't have to work today
I don't have to work tomorrow
Jason is the one on trial ... I'm just there to keep him company. (yes, I know that's not good news for Jason...)
I get to hang out with Jason tomorrow!!!
I have a Bible all my own, loaded with lots of love from my Father
I have the absolute, most amazing bunch of friends on the planet that I am completely undeserving of
I will sleep soundly tonight

Bad news? Are you sure? Ok....

I have cancer.

Yes, it's true. I had my surgery yesterday, and came home pretty drugged up. I went back to the doc today and she told me the news. I deeply apologize to those of you that have to find out by reading this, rather than me telling you in person. Please don't think I don't love you. I do. I know this will freak some people out. If it does, please call and talk to me. I really am okay with this, and I want you to be also.

Proverbs 3:24 - When you lie down, you will not be afraid; When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Protection for a tender heart.

2005-01-10T23:14:00.000-05:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day. My surgery is at 11:30am... and I am still not excited about it. Not that I ever expected to be. I am one of the few people in the world that thrives on community so much, that even when I am completely alone, I can imagine a community around me and be content. Funny, eh?

But not today...

I'm sitting on my bed crying, while trying desprately not to let my roommates or the people on the phone hear me. Why? I don't know. I have amazing friends. I really do. God has blessed me far beyond anything I could imagine in that area. I just feel so alone tonight. The girls in my life care about me far more than I will ever understand, but I miss the guys. When I am afraid, girls get on my nerves. I need a guy to come and hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, and that when I wake up, he'll be there waiting for me. Not necessarily that he is in love me and wants to marry me and all that stuff... just that he is my friend, and I will not lose him. My heart needs that protection today more than others.

God is so good to me. He knew exactly what I needed tonight. I called my friend Steve's apartment, knowing that he was at work. I just wanted to leave a message for him for when he got home. His roommate answered. We talked for about 15 mintues about the many things going on in life these days, and he asked me about my week. I told him about my surgery tomorrow to tell him that I wouldn't be doing much this week. The kindness I experienced in the next 5 minutes broke my heart. He was so encouraging, and promised to pray during the procedure. I had no idea why, but I felt like he was saying words I'd never heard before. I knew that if I were in the room with him, I could have had the hug I needed so badly, but up to that point had no idea that I had needed.

I realized that something was missing in my life. I have a good friend from my past, that I rarely see or talk to anymore, but he is still in my mind often. He would call across the country, continent, or even the world, just to see how I was doing and pray for me. We ended every phone call spending 10-15 mintues praying together. I can't remember the last time that has happened. I miss his compassion. I miss guys that will put their arm around me just to make me feel safe. I miss long talks about heartfelt dreams and desires. I miss it when it's gone, but some day I know I will have that again. Protection. Compassion. Kindness. Prayers. God is so good to me.

A million things to love about Mike Hilliard

2005-01-09T02:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've been informed that I need to share the love with some people besides my darling Ashlee. So, I've decided to give it a whirl so that some of my other friends will know that I love them dearly. Today it is Mike's turn. Mike is awesome...

Mike is crazy about Jesus!
Mike has a cool answering machine message
He goes out of his way to make sure everyone feels included
He's cute :-)
He thinks he Scottish
Longs for everyone to know Jesus like He should be known
Humble
He has a wonderful laugh
Mike is concerned with the spiritual walk of others
He teases me just enough... not too much... not too little
He can handle a RISK board like no other man can
He works at Lifeway
He's a heartfelt romantic
Mike likes Braveheart
He thinks a lot.
He shares his thoughts
Likes to play games
He has fun hair
He likes to talk into the wee hours of the morning
He's very dramatic.
He opens doors for girls... ALL girls, not just the cute ones :-)
He learns about things that his friends care about, even when he doesn't care about those things, just so that he can show them that he loves them
He's a crazy blogg'n man!
He give awesome hugs!!

Just a child

2005-01-06T11:59:00.000-05:00

I am just a child. A child of the King, yes, but a child nonetheless. I have a lot of growing to do. Some days I think that I am ready to be an adult, complete with husband and adorable children. Other days I realize that I am still a child myself. True, each day I grow a little more. I learn more. I listen better. I love more deeply. I use bigger words. I plan my days. I think of others. I pray for the hearts of my friends. I try to protect my own heart. But dispite my growing, I still have a long way to go.

My Father is the King, which makes me a princess, and not only that. He owns the cattle on a thousand hillsides, which makes me heir to a fortune. Why do I doubt that He will bless me far beyond my imagination? He loves me. He wants to bless me. And He wants to make me beautiful too!! I just make it difficult for Him. It's as if I say, "No God, I want to be ugly. I want to keep my ashes instead of taking your beauty." Oh, I can be such an idiot...

He makes all things beautiful in its time.
-Ecc. 3:11

When, Oh Lord, is my time?

Waiting...

2005-01-03T22:05:00.000-05:00

Do you ever sit around waiting for something to happen, knowing good and well that it will probably never come? I've known for a few days that today would be a day like that. I've been praying that God would give me an extra measure of grace to get through it. He did. As usual.

Today was a busy day at work with lots of distractions. I was actually praying that time would go a little more slowly so that I could get everything done that I needed to do. It's amazing that God gives me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it... even (and sometimes especially) when I don't know it. Not just that, but He ended up giving me the very thing I had been waiting for. He is so good to me.

P.S. I have to have blood drawn tomorrow. It usually makes me pass out :-( Anyone want to come hold my hand for me???

Bible Tag... You're It!

2004-12-30T09:52:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, my lovely roommate and I took a few painfully boring classes together. So... we started playing Bible Verse Tag. We would flip through the Bible and find random verses that, when taken completely out of context, are absolutely hilarious. Then we would scribble the refrence on a piece of paper and pass it back and forth, trying to make one another laugh aloud in class. It is extremely important that you specify the version that you are passing along, or a lot of humor could be lost. Here are a few:

Be merciful to me, O God, for men hotly puruse me. All day long they press their attack. - Psalm 56:1 NIV

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips - Prov. 24:26 NIV

Of making books, there is no end, and too much study is weary to the body - Ecc. 12:12 NIV

If I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. - Song of Solomon 8:1 NIV

Are you starting to get the picture? Some may say my little game is sacreligous, but hey... I know more verses than I would if I didn't play...

Do you have any fun ones to add???

A Prayer

2004-12-27T10:19:00.000-05:00

"Dear God", I prayed all unafraid, as we’re inclined to do
"I do not need a handsome man, oh, but let him be like You.
But let his head be high, dear God, and let his eyes be clear.
His shoulders straight, what ‘er his state, what ‘er his earthly sphere.
And let his whole face have character of ruggedness of soul
And let his whole life show, dear God, a singleness of gold
Then, when he comes, as he will come, with quite eyes aglow
I’ll understand, yes, he’s the man I prayed for long ago."

This was written by Ruth Bell Graham (Billy Graham's wife) when she was 19 years old. I like it. I hope you do to.

of snow and icy roads

2004-12-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true. I'm stuck at home all alone for a few days. Sad times for me, but hey, at least I'm not stuck under a bridge somewhere. It's amazing to me how dumb I can be sometimes. Yesterday, I got off work at noon, and it took me roughly an hour and a half to get home. I turned on the TV to see what the weather man had to say. It was at this point that something in my brain stopped functioning. For the rest of the night, the TV was on. Why? I don't know. I NEVER watch that much TV. NEVER. And really, it's not like the forecast was changing, "It has been snowing. It will snow more. Don't drive." over and over and over.....

Eventually, I went to sleep, though very late. This moring at 6:00am, my phone rang. I still don't know why... there were no "received calls" or "missed calls" but if you've ever heard my phone, you know that there is no mistaking when it rings. When I finally got it to stop, I rolled over to go back to sleep. That's when I heard it: the unmistakable sound of wheels spinning in the icy snow. You've got to be kidding me! I thought. Who in their right mind is trying to drive in a storm like this? I peaked out the window, and sure enough, someone from the apartment building next to me was parked on the road and was trying to go somewhere. What could possibly be so important? I tried to sleep, I really did, but sleep would not come. Over and over I heard wheels spinning out. He kept trying, but he wasn't getting anywhere.

Why can't people in Kentucky drive in the snow? It's not like it never snows here. I had offically climbed onto my high horse and was looking down on everyone else.... especially this guy that didn't know how to get out of the snow. Then it occured to me, if any of my friends from up North were here (Steve, Quinton, Ken, Kelly... this means you) I would have felt like an idiot pretending to know how to drive properly in the snow. I'd much rather ride with any of them than to drive by myself any day... but surly I knew better than this guy did.

It soon became obvious that the guy outside was flooring it in drive. Just throw it down into low and go slow, rock back and forth and you'll be fine. Still trying to floor it... Come on buddy!! Give it up and go back to bed! It's not worth it! But he refused to listen to my thoughts...

Then the scariest thing happened to me. At 6:00 on a peaceful snowy morning, Mike Hilliard's voice started ringing in my head, 'Edify, stupid!' Go away, Mike. 'Edify, stupid!' Why do you insist on ruining my sleep? 'Edify, stupid!' Fine. So I got out of bed, put on my snow pants and a couple of not-so-warm shirts and my snow boots and headed out to face the cold.... I hate the cold.

I walked to my car to get my gloves, for I knew pushing was in my immediate future. Once I got them, I walked around the side of the building and noticed another neighbor trying to get out of the parking lot. They, also, had no idea what they were doing. They had made it to the driving stage, but had gotten stuck. One was outside pushing, the other driving. So, I got to them as fast as I could and suggested a lower gear and started pushing. We finally got the car onto the main road and all was well. By this point, the guy that had unknowingly dragged me out of bed was already gone. Oh well...

I came inside, my heart racing from pushing the car and from being nearly frozen solid, and climbed back into bed. I woke up 4 hours later and thought, What is so important that people feel the need to drive on a day like today? Two minutes later, I got a phone call from my friend Betsy, saying she was stuck in Cinnci and might get a bus to Louisville. She asked if I'd be able to pick her up at the bus station if she could get there. "Of course I can. I'd walk through fire for you!" Then it hit me... there are a few good reasons to get out in the weather. I'm sure those "crazy" people that were getting out so early had good reasons too.

I have so much pride. Father forgive me, for I have sinned.

A million things to love about Ashlee Wheeler....

2004-12-22T09:24:00.000-05:00

Ok, I probably shouldn't write down a million things, even though there really are a million. Here is a much shorter list.

1. Ashlee is cute.
2. Ashlee is an amazing friend.
3. Ashlee ALWAYS feels the need to include others.
4. Ashlee loves Jesus... a lot.
5. Ashlee still loves people that do mean things to her.
6. Ashlee is cute.
7. Ashlee helps me study for tests.
8. Ashlee listens to me when I need to talk.
9. Ashlee talks to me when I need to listen.
10. Ashlee hugs me and says nothing at all, when nothing needs to be said.
11. Ashlee thinks more than I do.
12. Ashlee is cute.
13. Ashlee likes to plan parties.
14. Ashlee likes to invite me to the parties she plans.
15. Ashlee invites cute boys to these parties.... hee hee
16. Ashlee loves the Bible.
17. Ashlee loves to make other people love the Bible.
18. Ashlee's middle name is Rose :-)
19. Ashlee is cute
20. Ashlee loves Somalis.
21. Ashlee loves Kenyans.
22. Ashlee loves Arabs.
23. Ashlee loves Chinese.
24. Ashlee loves Indians.
25. Ashlee loves Nigerians.
26. Ashlee loves a lot of people....
27. Ashlee can make a mean meatloaf.
28. Ashlee shares her meatloaf.
29. Ashlee is cute.
30. Ashlee tells you when she thinks you are wrong.
31. Ashlee still loves you when you are wrong.

Okay, that will do for today. Please feel free to add to my list as you deem necessary...

Drugs that "heal"

2004-12-16T22:49:00.000-05:00

So, my doc gave me some drugs to take, some are general "you're messed up so take these to fix you" and some are pre-op, but all in all, they are supposed to fix whatever is wrong with me. The problem? THEY MAKE ME SICK!!! I can't eat. Every muscle in my body hurts (though some more than others). If I do eat, it either doesn't stay down, or I feel miserable for the rest of the night. And the worse part is, I don't feel like laughing or making anyone else laugh... which as you all know, is all I'm really good at. Why is it that good drugs hurt so bad?

Alas, I know my life will go on. I will grow accustomed to subjecting my body to toxins that it does not naturally produce, in the name of "good health." Perhaps a day will come when I will just be a healthy person. Things that are broken will be miraculously fixed, and things that hurt will feel no pain. The world will be a happier place becuase I will have the energy to be funny again. Hmmm.....

Lust of a sweeter kind....

2004-12-10T13:21:00.000-05:00

Ok, confession:

I am sitting here in my room, reading The Chronicles of Narnia, which is a wonderful collection I might add, and out of nowhere, I am overcome with lust for the most scrumshish (is that a word) thing in the world. Golden brown and as sweet as you can imagine. My mouth is watering at the very thought. Oh, my sweet Derby Pie. How delicious you are.

Earlier this week, I went to a friend's house to watch a movie. As usual, it was great fun. Halfway through the movie, being the amazing host that he is, my friend cut me a beautiful piece of the most amazing Derby Pie I had ever tasted (dont't tell Daddy I said that). His roomie had made it. It has been awhile since I last tasted this favorite of mine, but wow... this one was incredible! I don't know why it was exceptionally good, but man-oh-man, it was great! Props to Kevin, who will probably never read this. I hope you all get to meet this man and share some of his Derby Pie. But if you do, please save me a piece.

Things to think about today... when I find time.

2004-12-07T13:34:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here at work (don't tell my boss) doing anything but work at the moment. I have thoughts racing through my head like crazy and I can't seem to control them. My body has a hard time keeping up with my brain sometimes, so I've learned to do something that I still find very silly. I make a list of things to think about. Literally. Weird, eh? Not a list of things to do, but just things to ponder. Here's my list for today:

1. Philosophy final.
2. Should I get meat for the cheese sandwiches I made for me and Mac?
3. If so, where will I get the money to buy meat?
4. I miss my brother.
5. Is my surgery going to hurt a lot?
6. ...or is paying for it going to hurt more?
7. Is my Daddy crying today?
8. 8 days 'til payday!
9. Will Martin's present get here in time for Christmas?
10. Should I ask [certain member of the opposite sex] to go to my work Christmas dinner with me or not?
11. If so, will he take it the wrong way?
12. Is it really the wrong way or is that exactly how I mean it?
13. If that's exactly how I mean it, refer to thought #10.
14. What in the world should I get my baby brother for Christmas and his b-day?
15. What can I add to my "Thank You" book today?
16. I want to write a song...
17. Hey, Hanukkah starts tonight at dusk.
18. PIZZA on Thursday!!! Yum!
19. Christmas play on Friday (Go Quinton and Mike!!)
20. Crud! Don't forget to mail Mom her b-day present!!
21. Should I tell Nana about my surgery?
22. Is there any way to keep Papaw from ever finding out....

.... anyhow, this is a small bit of what is happening in my head today. I'll probably have to print this off so I don't forget to think about any of these things. Hee hee... and you all thought I was weird. I hope this removes any doubt.

And one day you wake up....

2004-11-29T20:47:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like you live in a coma? I do. It's like I'm watching life through a frosty window. Then suddenly the frost melts away and someone says something that makes perfect sense. There are so many people in my life these days talking about relationship that it bogs me down sometimes. Normally, I'm just not into talking about it. I don't know why. It's growing on me though.

My friend Mike is very cool. You should read what he wrote about relationships today. Click on his name to go to his site. He's a lot wiser than I give him credit for sometimes. One of you girls needs to snatch him up.

Mike, if you read this, pretend like you didn't. :-)

It's all Greek to me

2004-11-16T10:27:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have to register for classes in 2 days and I have a delima. I really want to take greek. Yes, I know that's weird. But I like languages... a lot. I might be good at it, though I've met very few people that say "Yea for greek!" or anything weird like that. There are two minor problems though. First, it meets 4 days a week at 8:00am. Yeah, that's a problem. Secondly, IT'S GREEK! You can understand that one, right? So, help me make my decicion. Click on the link below to cast your vote.

Help me!

Why does giving have to be a bad habit?

2004-11-14T18:05:00.000-05:00

I like to give stuff away. That's a good thing, right? Yeah, that's what I though. It has occured to me though, that I will do anything I can go give something away sometimes. My poor mother has been victimized by my giving many times. She would have something that she absolutely never used (i.e. the National Audubon's Society's Guide to the Night Sky) and I had a friend that would LOVE it. So.... I gave it away. Sheesh.... of course, Mom immediately noticed, and I bought her a new one (This wasn't terribly recently, just so you know).

Flash forward to today. I have a friend that loves cuckoo clocks. So, what do I do? I think to myself, "I should get on ebay and look for one for him to fix up and keep in his room." I look and look and find a good one that needs a little work (he likes to fix them). I'm actally considering buying it, when I stop myself and say, "You dork! It's $45! He would KILL you for spending that much on him!" It doesn't really matter to me though. The thought of the smile on his face and the joy that it would bring to his heart means so much more to me. But seriously, that's a bill that I wouldn't pay.... I'm trying to resist the urge to buy it, but good grief, that feels so wrong sometimes.

The same thing happened to me last week. A friend is obsessed with Manchester United Football, so I finally found the perfect gift: A ManU sweatshirt, which is nearly impossible to find in this country. I did buy this one, though. Sometimes I just can't control myself. I would make such a good millionaire.... I mean, really.....

Oh no....

2004-10-20T13:51:00.000-04:00

I think I have discovered the root of my singleness...

I was reading a website that gave a bunch of differences between guys and girls. It was really funny, and extremely true. I read the whole article (which we all know is rare for me and my short attention span). At the end of it, the author makes his point. Guys and girls are different. That's part of the point of marriage. We bring different things into the relationship. Now, that sounds great and all, but here's my problem...

As I was reading the list, I realized that I am so much more like guys than girls in a million ways (yes, I know many of you know this already). For example (you'll have to look at the article for this to all make sense): I only have 5 things in my bathroom. I am VERY visual and mathmatical. I would much rather drive around all day than get directions. and the worst... I kick cats :-) If guys and girls are two halves of what makes up a good relationship, then I'm in trouble... two guy personalities in a relationship is, well.... wrong....

Woo Hoo!!!

2004-10-20T13:17:00.000-04:00

Today, I get off work at 2pm. I don't have to go my other job and I don't have to go to class. It's been so long since I had a random day like today. What should I do? Sleep? Swim? Study? So many choices... so little time.

Where do I vote???

2004-10-11T23:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I moved this summer and I re-registered to vote with my new address, but they haven't sent me anything to tell me WHERE to vote. Anybody know how I can find out? I'm an idiot with stuff like this.

Hee hee... Who are you??

2004-10-10T23:20:00.001-04:00

Dispite populare belief. I am not Charlie Brown (or PigPen for those of you who are going to say somthing smarty-pants-ish to me).

Which Peanuts Character are You?
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New Counter

2004-10-06T21:46:00.000-04:00

I now have a cute new counter.... yes, boys, it IS cute. So, here is my goal. I have three little lonely hearts and they need a fourth (don't you dare make fun of me). This does not mean, Robin/Ashlee/Lindsay/etc, that you should reload my page over... though as long as I don't know about it, it will probably make me happy. Anyhow...... there ya go.

Spiritual Warfare

2004-10-03T23:24:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I have a Spiritual Warfare class on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. It's an absolutely amazing class. One of the things we've been talking about this past few weeks is that the warfare that we have against Satan is God's idea, not the devil's. This sounds kinda obvious, but it's easy to forget. Here are a couple of examles:

Genesis 3 - The Fall
Yes, we know this story very well, but look closely. In verse 15 "And I will put enmity [conflict/strife/warfare] between you and the woman and between your offspring and hers." God put the strife between us and Satan.

Job 1-2
Satan doesn't come up to God and say, "Hey can I pick on Job?" Instead, the Scripture gives the impression that Satan is standing before God and God says, "Hey, have you thought about testing my main-man, Job?" It's important to note here that Satan can do NOTHING without God's permission. He constantly has a line that he is not allowed to cross.

One point that Dr. L made in this class is that one of Satan's major tactics is to get us to focus on ourselves and what we don't have . In the garden, the serpent never suggest to Eve that she should eat the fruit. He lied, deceived, and several other things, but he never told her, "Hey, you should take a big 'ol bite of that thing." He pointed out that this was the one thing that she couldn't have. Dr. L said something to the effect of us doing this with relationships a lot. We see that we don't have a relationship and Satan tries to tell us, "hey, look at what God told you that you can't have right now" until it's the only thing we want. Then, rather than waiting for the perfect person God has for us, we settle for 2nd, 3rd, 4th... best just so that we can have it all.

Another prof said something that made me laugh, but it supports this in amazing ways. He talked about how much we want to live for ourselves. It it totally unnatural for us to give up our lives for Christ (I don't mean die physically, but die to ourselves). He claims, rightly so I believe, that it is as natural for us to give up our lives to follow Christ as it is for us to take a running leap off a cliff. It's just not natural.

Amazing how much school can make you think....

Wow! What a gift!

2004-09-06T17:32:00.000-04:00

Guess what I did for my birthday!?!? My cousin's birthday is the same day as mine (but he's 10 years younger) so his parents bought us the coolest present ever! We got to fly on a 1935 war plane! It was so much fun! We flew around Louisville and the pilot showed us where everything was. I even got to see seminary. I tried to spit on it, but I'm pretty sure I missed :-) We went with a pretty new company called Classic Biplane Tours. They are awesome. This is a definate must do for some of you guys!

New Math

2004-08-30T12:24:00.001-04:00

When I was in high school a friend taught me that 2 + 2 = 5 can be "mathmatically proven." Of course I thought he was losing his mind... so he showed me. Based on the idea that whatever you do to one side of an equation, as long as you do it to the other side as well, they will remain equal, here it goes....

2 + 2 = 5
4 = 5 (multiply each side by 2)
8 = 10 (subtract 9 from each side)
-1 = 1 (square each side)
1 = 1

Pretty cool, eh?

What does it take?

2004-08-24T09:52:00.000-04:00

I found myself crying last night. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not much of a teary-eyed person, so this was a pretty big deal for me. I've been so concerned that I'm losing everything: (mostly my money- which effects my education, rent, even my car). I was freting that if I lose these things, I can't earn more money, and then my hole will be even bigger. Then something occured to me as I was praying last night with my roommates. One of my profs last semester prayed a prayer that will never leave me. He said, "God, we oftentimes say that You are all we need, but we will never truly believe that until You are all we have." So, I prayed that God would take away everything. A scary thought, but a much needed one. Everytime I worry about something, I'm proving how little I think of God and His power. What an idiot I can be...

Classes

2004-08-24T09:29:00.000-04:00

So, I'm taking 9 hours this semester. I don't really have a steady job for Friday and Saturday, but I usually work a few hours. I have been holding out to do some substitute teaching on Fridays, but honestly, I got one call last semester, so it doesn't look very promising. With that in mind, I am thinking of taking another class on Fridays. I need to take Formations, but I'm not sure. I don't know anything about the prof. Part of it is the money, of course, but another part is that if I add 2 more hours, will my other 9 suffer? Alas, what's a girl to do???

My Big Secret

2004-08-21T19:23:00.000-04:00

I like school. Yes, it's true. It's time that I admit it to the world. I love the tests and trying to show everyone that I'm smarter than I look. I love getting straight A's even though I pretend that I don't care what I get. I still don't like writing papers, but I don't think that I ever will. Don't tell anyone that I said any of this.... I don't want the word getting out....

Jared Durham

2004-07-27T16:36:00.000-04:00

Yeah, he's a weird guy. He says that no one can spell his name correctly.... obviously, I too must have spelled it wrong. Anyhow... here I sit at work, just sitting. I was told to be here at 4:00 so I scarfed down my lunch.... inhaled actually, just to get here on time. Whjen I did arrive, I discovered that I am not needed until 5:30.... that' s right. 5:30. So, here I sit, wondering what to write about on my blog when Jared walks by. He is wearing a big-o-mama baseball championship ring that I'm sure he stole from someone. :-) Hee hee. Okay, not really, he's a great baseball player I'm sure, but nonetheless, I think he could knock someone out easily with the bling-bling.

Okay, this is the lowest point of my life. I'm sitting here writing about a guy whose name I can't spell out of shear boredom.... Somebody shoot me.

Is my life REALLY this boring???

Money stinks..... especailly the lack of it...

2004-07-17T22:00:00.000-04:00

Wow... I hope none of you have experienced this, but you know that terrible feeling when you check your balance in your account and suddenly it is VERY, VERY negative and you have no idea how that happened or what in the world you can do to fix it. You just pray that suddenly some really wealthy old man that you were kind to many years ago, but really didn't know at all sends you a check for $1000... just for kicks. Yeah, it stinks. What's a girl to do???? (Don't you dare tell me to be more careful with my money.... I don't want to hear it.) I can't even sell my blood anymore 'cuz I've been to Africa this year..... woe is me....

Errrr.... Computers can get on my nerves...

2004-07-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

It's true. I hate it when your computer (or more acurately your computer program) thinks it knows what you want. It makes me crazy (don't say it Ashlee)!! Here I am looking at exactly what I want to be printed, but when I print, it comes out as something else. man that get's on my nerves. Excuse me, I have to throw it out the window now....

Reading for fun.....

2004-07-03T17:22:00.000-04:00

Ah, those were the good 'ol days. Back when you could go into a bookstore and find a book that you couldn't afford so you'd sit there for hours reading it at the store so that you don't have to pay for it. Then there was the invastion of seminary. Read this. Read that. Write about this book. Rush through this one (that might actually be great). Finally, a break. I discovered that my church has a library. Yes, this should have been obvious... thank you. Anyway, I walked in and turned to a shelf and grabbed a book that looked like a novel and I checked it out and have hardly put it down yet. I love when I can read because I WANT to.

Oh... Bad News Bears

2004-07-03T16:46:00.000-04:00

No, not those bears. I mean general bad news... forget the bears part.

So... I'm house sitting for some friends while they are in Africa. They have a cute little Yorkie that they secretly think is their first-born child. Anyhow, a couple of days ago she started acting weird. She just kinda.... stopped. She stopped eating, playing, barking...even walking. Needless to say, I got a little worried. Was she sick? Hurt? I didn't know. The only number they left me was for the Animal Hospital, which Emma has never been to. So, finally I broke down and took her....

Ends up, Emma has a bone spur on her spine. I was told to keep her completely confined to a cage until her mom and dad get home. What the heck! I can't do that!! Plus, I have to give her lots of drugs. Muscle relaxers and stuff like that. So, as long as I'm giving her the meds, she is active and thus hard to keep confined. AND... it cost me... well, let's just say... it cost me all my rent money for this month. Part of me wants to email them in Africa and let them know what's going on, but really... they can't do anything from there. Ahhh, the complexities of life.

Third Day Concert!

2004-06-29T15:48:00.000-04:00

So... Third Day is gonna be in da 'Ville on July 22 and recording a live DVD. How fun would it be to be memorialized forever in a Third Day DVD?!?! Yeah.... that's all. I know Ash and Rachel (who, by the way, never reads this) would love little more than to go to the concert. Sorry girls, you're both broke :-) Broke is a sad place, isnt' it? Oh well....

Ahhh... my favorites

2004-06-26T21:08:00.000-04:00

Take the test, by Emily.

Good news, I'm the French Peas! They are my favorites! For those of you who are not Veggie fans, I forbid you to have children until you do :-)

Apparently I am Bubble Gum...

2004-06-26T21:03:00.000-04:00

You're bubblegum!!! You love to have a good time,
and enjoy being around others who feel the same
way. You tend to be the life of the party, and
people like to be around you as much as they
can.

Which kind of candy are you?
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Kilimanjaro

2004-06-20T21:13:00.000-04:00

This is a journal entry that I wrote while in East Africa. Thought you might like to read it....

Mt. Kilimanjaro is a beautiful thing I’ve heard. I can’t tell you for certain. I’ve never actually seen it with my own two eyes. I must admit that there is a touch of jealousy in me. In the 2+ years that I’ve lived in East Africa, I have passed that mountain at least 12 times. It’s always too cloudy, or too dark, or I’m simply in the back seat asleep. For whatever reason, I have yet to behold the glory of Kilimanjaro.

There are people on this mission trip with me that have spent a grand total of 2 ½ weeks in Tanzania who have seen Kilimanjaro… more than once. It just doesn’t seem fair. Deep down though, I know that I could see it if I really wanted to. I could just sit at the base of the mountain until the clouds pass, or wait in anticipation for the sun to rise, or simply wake up from my slumber in the back seat and open my eyes. The best way to see the mountain though, is to grab your gear and start climbing.

It’s funny how we can be the same way with God. Some people start the Christian life knowing that they are going to be in it for the long haul, so they think that there is no real need to rush to see and do everything. There is plenty of time. There view of God may be clouded (by the things they busy themselves with), or dark (because of the sin in their lives), or perhaps they are just in the back seat sleeping (while others around them are telling them what to believe or how do live). Then there are those who are so excited about their new faith that they rush to see, taste, feel, hear, and experience every bit of God that they can at every moment that they can.

Many of us are like I am with Kili, we want to see the beauty of God, but we want Him to be visible whenever we happen to pass by. Some of us need to just sit still at His feet and wait for the clouds to pass so that we can see Him more clearly. Some of us just need to hold on for a few short hours until the dawn comes with the Son and pierces the darkness. Some of us need to get off our backsides and simply open our eyes and look at Him. Just as the best way to see the mountain is to climb it, the best way to see the glory of God is to grab our gear and seek after Him with all of our hearts. Scripture tells us that if we drawn near to Him, He will drawn near to us.

You know, I have always thought that Mt. Kilimanjaro is a nice place, but my friends that have been up that mountain… they love it.

Working..... or not.

2004-06-08T14:40:00.000-04:00

Well.... I need a job. I'm thinking of applying at UPS 'cuz they offer incredible benefits, including tuition assistance. That makes me happy. The problem is that it means working at night (not fun) and freezing my toosh off in the winter. This is not fun for me, but hey, I need a job, I need insurance, and help paying for school is not a negetive thing. What are your thoughts on the subject???

Lists... I mean really, what's the point?

2004-06-05T02:22:00.000-04:00

I can't begin to tell you how many lists I've made in the last few weeks. Did I finish any of them? I doubt it, but I can't tell you for sure. I usually lose them long before I actually finish doing everything on them. Then, much later, I remember all of those very important things that made the list (which was lost) but never got accomplished. I have even made a list that contained "Make a list of..." Seriously, that is ridiculous.

Why do I bring this up? I forgot to do something....

What to do when you're waiting.....

2004-05-28T03:49:00.000-04:00

Well.... here I sit in Africa, waiting for something to happen. What, I'm not sure, but something. The problem is that things come when you do not expect them. I guess that means that as long as I'm sitting here waiting for it, it will never come. So... this is what I do to use up the time. I guess that as long as I'm trying to pass time waiting for something to happen, I'm still expecting it to happen.... that means that this day is going to be pretty useless, eh?

We are taking some girls bowling today. Have you ever been bowling in a dress (Nick, if you read this, please say no)? Me either, but I can't imagine it's going to be easy. Perhaps we'll play putt-putt instead. That may be easier. Anyhow, I'm hopeing to have zebra or ostrich for lunch, but we'll see. I'm outtie. Bye

My brain is .... orange? Well, ok I guess.

2004-05-18T16:10:00.000-04:00

What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

At work or in school: I need to be "hands on": I like to play games, to compete, and to perform. I enjoy flexibility, changes of pace, and variety. I have difficulty with routine and structure. My favorite subjects are music, art, theatre, and crafts. I often excel in sports. I like solving problems in active ways and negotiating for what I want. I can be direct and like immediate results.

With friends: Planning ahead bores me because I never know what I want to do until the moment arrives. I like to excite my friends with new and different things, places to go, and romantic moments.

With family: I need a lot of space and freedom. I want everyone to have fun. It is hard for me to follow rules, and I feel we should all just enjoy one another.

These things are so much fun. I guess this does describe me pretty well. Amazing how I can be put in a box, eh?

My heart is in Africa

2004-03-29T11:38:00.000-05:00

Ya know, for as long as I can remember, my heart has been in Africa. Long before I ever went the first time, it held a special place in my heart. I can't explain where it came from, but I think it began sometime around 5th grade. I knew that God had a special plan for my life. I knew it involved Swahili :-) I love the language, I love the people. After spending two years in Eastern Africa, it wasn't just in my heart, it was a part of who I am. Now, here I sit longing to be back there. I think about it all the time. I talk about it with virtually everyone that I meet. People ask me if I grew up in Africa all the time. I want to say yes, but truth be told, I did not. When can I go home? Soon and very soon....

and these are my states...

2004-03-26T22:41:00.000-05:00

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Why do I do the things I do?

2004-03-26T22:24:00.000-05:00

My friend, Ashlee and I, well.... we are dorks. That's the only real explanation for it. We are students at... well, let's just say it's an institution where we are expected to be honest and forthcoming in all aspects of our life from plagiarism to parking permits. The first we don't have a real problem with, I mean who wants to take someone elses words as your own. If their thoughts are stupid, then you look dumb yourself. If they have an amazing mind and articulate well, then suddenly the expectations that others have for you drastically increase. Not for me.

The parking permit thing is a problem though. Not only is it "slightly unethical," but I am down right dumb about it. I have a commuter permit, which unfortunately means that I have to park 2 miles past the Great Commission when I go to school. I am usually running late or not staying long, or staying for a REALLY long time (or some other rediculous reason), so when I get to school, the first thing I do is remove our parking permits from my rearview mirror and stuff it in the pocket on my door so no one can see it. The whole purpose of having one is to park, yet when I park, I take it off.... weird, eh? I was thinking about just how rediculous this is a few days ago, when my dear Ashlee pointed out to me that she does the same thing. That makes me feel better :-) Thanks Ash!

Where my body had traveled... with or without my mind.

2004-03-26T22:21:00.000-05:00

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide