Putting God in a box

I think I'm guilty. This is something that I've been thinking about a lot for several weeks. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it, but I thought I'd share anyway. It began when I found out I had cancer. A lot of my family and friends immediately began fretting over the obvious: what was going to happen to me, how serious is it, would it kill me, will I ever have kids.... perfectly ligitiment questions. One of my first thoughts was, "Great. The IMB will never let me be a career missionary now." Funny how our minds work, eh? Mission work is all I've ever wanted to do, so this hit me pretty hard. After the surgery, the doc told me the cancer was all gone, never to return, so my hopes went back up again.

Around this time, two of my friends started dating one another. She has a passion for Hispanic people. She loves the culture, the language, the people. She has done mission work with them in the past, and wants to in the future. He doesn't have this same passion. Granted, he has nothing against the idea, it's just not his heart's desire. The discussions that they had with one another while deciding on whether to pursue a relationship or not have, in the last couple of weeks, been very important to me.

I was talking with her in the car, not long ago, about how she came to the decision that it was ok to date this man that did not share the same passion that she did. She told me about some of the things they discussed and somehow, out of nowhere, it clicked in my head. I was putting God in a box. Not just any box, a Lindsey-made box specially designed with my goals and intentions in mind. Yes, God has given me the ability to learn Swahili, but that may just be his way of showing me that he can teach me any language that he wants me to learn. Yes, he's given me a heart to reach Muslims, but perhaps that's his way of showing me that if he can give me a passion for such a tough group of people, he can give me a heart for any people group. Yes, he's given me the opportunity to serve in Africa, but perhaps that was his was of teaching me that he can help me make it anywhere in the world.

I've come to realize that I need to let go of my plans and let God direct me as he wants. Chicago, Mongolia, Egypt, Louisville, Japan, Zimbabwe, Bosnia, Cambodia, single, married, women, youth, ESL, water projects, disaster relief, whatever. I am his to do with as he wishes.

Not my will, but thine, Oh Lord my God.